There's A Funny Story
by inkvoices
Summary: Gwen just wants to go home and she's determind to take Rhys with her, even if he's currently in wolf form in a Torchwood cell.  Werewolf AU.


**Author Note: **Originally written for a werewolf AU prompt on comment_fic at livejournal.

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><p><span>There's A Funny Story<span>

"No," says Gwen firmly. "He's mine and I'm taking him home."

"If it's alien, it's ours," says Jack. He doesn't sound like the Captain laying down the rules though. He sounds curious.

"Rhys is not an alien," Gwen tells him.

The ears of the large wolf in the holding cell prick up at the sound of his name, as they always do. He pads right up to the transparent wall at the front, presses his nose against it as close to Gwen as he can get, and whines.

"Well he's definitely not human," says Owen, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I don't need to be a doctor to tell you that."

"Can he understand what we're saying?" asks Tosh, sounding curious as well.

"Yes, he can," says Gwen. "He's still Rhys. He's not dangerous, not to people who aren't a threat."

She takes a deep breath and makes sure she's standing at her full height as she turns back to Jack.

"He's a werewolf," she says. "He was born one. There are quite a few in the UK actually, and no, I'm not going to give you a list of names or anything like that. It's nothing to do with Torchwood."

"Actually," says Jack, "there's a funny story about the start of Torchwood, an alien werewolf, and the possibility of Queen Victoria being bitten."

"Yeah. I imagine it's hilarious." Owen rolls his eyes and steps forward to stand next to Gwen, peering into the holding cell. "What are we going to do with him though?"

"I'm taking him home," Gwen repeats.

"What, on a leash?"

He crouches down to get a closer look, brushing against Gwen as he does so. Rhys bares his teeth and growls. It's a threatening sound that makes the hairs on Gwen's arms stand on end even though she's heard it before. Tosh backs away a little and Jack raises an eyebrow, but Owen stays where he is and sneers, refusing to be intimidated.

"Thought you said he wasn't dangerous."

Gwen steps to the side, putting a foot of air between herself and Owen.

"Yeah, well, right now you're a threat," she says quietly.

"Oh, I get it," says Jack, smiling. "To his mate."

"What?" Owen stands up again and twists around to look at the Captain.

"I think he's just as protective of Gwen as she is of him," says Jack, still smiling, "only he has the teeth to back it up."

"I have a gun," Gwen mutters.

The wolf makes a huffing sound, blowing air of his nose in amusement.

"I have a _gun_," she says, glaring at him. "I can bloody well take care of myself, Rhys! I don't need you hunting me down when I'm at work."

"Although, that is kind of sweet," says Tosh, the edges of her mouth turning up a little.

Jack laughs and Gwen allows herself to think that things will be okay.

"Let him out," she says, "and I'll take him home in my car."

"You really think people won't notice?" says Own incredulously. "It looks like he has the same mass as a wolf as he does when he's a man. He's bloody huge. People are going to notice."

"You'd better not be calling my fiancé fat." Gwen sighs. "People _don't_notice. They see what they expect to see."

"Apart from the people that don't and end up working for Torchwood," says Jack, amusement and pride colouring his tone. "Alright, I don't see any reason why Rhys here can't leave. Unless he fancies joining Torchwood?"

"That would really not help with the not following me at work," Gwen snaps.

Rhys shakes his head, although she suspects that's to avoid her wrath rather than because he's not interested in a job. She knows that he's proud of the company that he built up himself, but Torchwood is Torchwood and he's got to be tempted.

"I'll call it an open offer then," says Jack as he moves to the keypad next to the cell door and punches in the code to open it. "Anyone who can take down a Weevil that fast deserves one."

Rhys takes a few steps out and butts his head against Gwen's hip, his eyes lowered in apology. She buries her left hand in the ruff of fur behind his ears and scratches. She knows he can't help being this protective during the full moon really, but then she can't help being protective of his secret either.

The wolf rubs his head on her thigh, then circles her, letting his body touch hers as much as possible and eyeing up the others in the room.

"Jesus, Rhys, not when you're moulting," Gwen complains and places a hand gently on top of his head to make him stop.

Her black trousers are covered in grey fur, which is why she never wears dark clothes at home if she can help it.

"He moults like an actual wolf then?" says Owen.

"Yeah, and it's a pain in the arse."

"How often does he change?" asks Tosh.

Gwen can see that she's still somewhat intimidated, but curiosity seems to be winning over anything else the other woman is feeling.

"He changes involuntarily for full moons and that's for the length of time that it's full, not just during the night. The rest of the time he can change if and when he likes." She strokes a finger up the back of one of Rhys' ears. "You should see him hog the couch when he's like this."

"What about when he's human?" says Jack. "Any wolf characteristics then? Because I once spent some fun times with a species that had a knot in the penis like a canine and – "

"Oh _god_," says Owen, throwing up his hands and Gwen can feel Rhys freeze at the sudden movement before relaxing again as Owen walks out.

"Is he really this bad all the time or only when I show up?" asks Ianto, standing in the doorway and indicating Jack with a tilt of his head. His arms are occupied with a large packet of beef and the wolf lets out a small _yip_of excitement as he catches a whiff.

"I was just asking." Jack licks his bottom lip and wriggles his eyebrows. "I'm _interested_is all."

Gwen fights a blush as she tells him, "It's none of your business."

Jack mouth curves into a dirty grin and she looks away, catching a glimpse of Tosh's face as she does. She also looks _interested_.

Gwen makes a note to invite Tosh out with her Rhys the next time they meet up with the South Wales Pack. There are a surprising number of people who say they wouldn't mind putting up with a partner who isn't always human, but unfortunately a lot less willing to put up with a partner who isn't _fully_human when they're human shaped.

(She also makes a note to look up any aliens that fit Jack's description and whether or not they've ever visited Earth in the past, Queen Victoria or no Queen Victoria, because she's been curious about the origins of werewolves since she met Rhys and she's yet to find a satisfactory answer.)

"Where should I put this?" Ianto asks, adjusting his hold on the meat in his arms.

"Gwen's car," says Jack.

"Yeah, we're going home," she says, moving towards the door with Rhys following close behind her. "Dinner tonight on Torchwood, I guess."

It's a better ending to the evening than she'd expected.


End file.
